How the other half lives...
Our field trip to a Mormon temple, part 2
So anyway, back to the old guys.
What really pissed me off about the spiel of the Mormon elders was just the amount the gall they had when talking about their church's history. I suppose I don't have to explain it to most of you; how Joseph Smith brought forth a new revelation that he translated from some books that an angel gave him, etc. That wasn't at all shocking. I guess what struck me most was how bizarrely logical their position is in the context of the Protestantism in which it emerged.
Since the Reformation eliminated all real authority in the church, it was only logical that someone at some point would try to resurrect a religion in which God is present in all senses of the word, that is, not just "spiritually". And yes, our cadre of middle aged men had the audacity to claim that THEY were indeed successors to the Apostles, invested with their powers to bind and loose. Just like Catholic bishops. Except in this case, they threw out Nicene orthodoxy in the process. And they were wearing some very well-tailored suits.
I don't need to elaborate too much that I found this very insulting. When the Mormons and their more orthodox Protty counterparts speak of the degeneration of the Church, I find myself so indignant that I almost have to laugh. I mean, we were dying in the Colosseum and shedding our blood for Christ back when these people weren't even a twinkle in their great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother's eye. But of course, we were already idolaters and Mary-worshippers... Whatever. You can't make everyone happy.
AG has already commented that there were photos of the interior of the temple at the center, since you couldn't really go inside. And as someone else commented, it looks like the lobby of a Marriott hotel. Go figure. The spaceship actually looks like a normal conference hall inside. One wonders why they went to the trouble to make it so strange on the outside.
As we were about to leave, my rather child-like (childish?) curiosity couldn't help but look inside a door that had some sign like "God's Plan for Your Family" on it. We walked in and saw a screen and some rather strange objects lurking in the shadows. I thought that we had strolled into a closet, so we decided to leave. Just then, however, one of the Mormon girls emerged from the shadows and asked if we wanted to see the video presentation. We gave our lukewarm yes, and she explained how the exhibit worked: there were a series of exhibits that we would have to walk through in order to view the Mormon ideal of the family. Once one finished, we would have to get up to view the next one. It would take approximately half an hour. It was the theological equivalent of the "It's a Small World" ride.
So anyway, back to the old guys.
What really pissed me off about the spiel of the Mormon elders was just the amount the gall they had when talking about their church's history. I suppose I don't have to explain it to most of you; how Joseph Smith brought forth a new revelation that he translated from some books that an angel gave him, etc. That wasn't at all shocking. I guess what struck me most was how bizarrely logical their position is in the context of the Protestantism in which it emerged.
Since the Reformation eliminated all real authority in the church, it was only logical that someone at some point would try to resurrect a religion in which God is present in all senses of the word, that is, not just "spiritually". And yes, our cadre of middle aged men had the audacity to claim that THEY were indeed successors to the Apostles, invested with their powers to bind and loose. Just like Catholic bishops. Except in this case, they threw out Nicene orthodoxy in the process. And they were wearing some very well-tailored suits.
I don't need to elaborate too much that I found this very insulting. When the Mormons and their more orthodox Protty counterparts speak of the degeneration of the Church, I find myself so indignant that I almost have to laugh. I mean, we were dying in the Colosseum and shedding our blood for Christ back when these people weren't even a twinkle in their great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother's eye. But of course, we were already idolaters and Mary-worshippers... Whatever. You can't make everyone happy.
AG has already commented that there were photos of the interior of the temple at the center, since you couldn't really go inside. And as someone else commented, it looks like the lobby of a Marriott hotel. Go figure. The spaceship actually looks like a normal conference hall inside. One wonders why they went to the trouble to make it so strange on the outside.
As we were about to leave, my rather child-like (childish?) curiosity couldn't help but look inside a door that had some sign like "God's Plan for Your Family" on it. We walked in and saw a screen and some rather strange objects lurking in the shadows. I thought that we had strolled into a closet, so we decided to leave. Just then, however, one of the Mormon girls emerged from the shadows and asked if we wanted to see the video presentation. We gave our lukewarm yes, and she explained how the exhibit worked: there were a series of exhibits that we would have to walk through in order to view the Mormon ideal of the family. Once one finished, we would have to get up to view the next one. It would take approximately half an hour. It was the theological equivalent of the "It's a Small World" ride.
After the introductory screen, we moved on to our first exhibit: a baby's nursery. A screen on the back wall began to play a brief movie in which a young couple were kept up at night by their newborn infant. (They were standing in a nursery exactly like the one we had in front of us. Creepy.) The woman said in the course of the conversation, "Just think, a week ago she was still in Heaven with God..."
Excuse me?! But I thought she would have been in her mother's womb. But as in all of the rest of the presentation, theological absurdities were presented with a kind smile and the assurance that such bizarre doctrines were perfectly normal. After all, such a clean-cut, cute, white middle class family couldn't possibly believe anything strange or abnormal, could it?
The main theological point of the presentation, however, was that the family was eternal. That is, the family is such a sacred institution that it continues to exist after death. So much for, "in Heaven, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage, but shall be like the angels." It's almost a rather sly one-upmanship in the culture wars: not only do we value the nuclear family more than others, but we deify it!
However, at the very end, we were supposed to be given the coup de grace. We were placed in a viewing room apart and were prepped by our handler that this was her favorite part personally. I should here describe her: she was not your typical Mormon. She was from New Zealand, probably either of indigenous or mixed racial background. And you could tell that she was as sweet as syrup. She told us that she was on mission and could only call her parents on the other side of the world twice a year. The rest of the time, she could write them once a month. This broke my heart, since even in seminary, I was allowed to call my family once a month for ten minutes, and could write them all I wanted. With tears in her eyes, she rolled the film.
This was supposed to seal the deal: the young family, their loving grandparents, the sacrifices of time and energy parents take to raise their children... it was the Gospel of Joseph Smith that moved it all up a notch. In presenting the story of salvation history, the short film emphasized the theme of darkness. Man was in darkness who was once in light, and man kept trying to extinguish the light. Finally, God the Father sent His own son, but men even extinguished this light. (Funny, at this part, they mentioned the Crucifixion of Jesus, but skipped His resurrection. I looked at AG and whispered, "Didn't He rise from the dead after that?") Only Joseph Smith and the Mormons restored the light to the world. At the end, with the representation of the apotheosis of the Church of Latter-Day Saints, the dimmed portrait of Christ emerged luminous to the right of the screen. Queue the music... A Hollywood finish.
We thanked our hostess, told her in the course of a brief conversation that we were Roman Catholics, and walked out into the afternoon sun.
After reflecting on this day, it all made me really sad. I remembered one time, again in Argentina, where I saw another Mormon church. On a dirty, impoverished road about an hour and a half outside of Buenos Aires, that Mormon church looked exactly the same as all the Mormon churches I had seen growing up in the States, all the way down to the immaculate lawn in the front of it. (An immaculate lawn anywhere in Argentina is a rare occurrence.) And then I realized that the Mormons are not peddling a religion; they are peddling a way of life. More precisely, they are substituting the American suburban dream for the Logos: and the subdivision became flesh and dwelt among us. Good clean living. Peppy young women in skirts. Lots of healthy smiling kids. And affluence. And cleanliness. To be spread to the four ends of the earth... I think I am going to be sick.
Mormonism is the highest form of American Puritanism with the Christianity ripped out of it. It is everything that is pleasant and nice about Christianity without the doctrine. And America sits up above the nations, a new Zion to be converted to Mormonism, and that parade of saints will march until it reaches the ends of the earth, until it proves, once and for all, that to be white, attractive, middle-class, and clean cut is to be made in the image and likeness of God.
Yes, I do feel sorry for that poor girl who showed us that movie. Please say an extra prayer for her. I leave you with the opening of an old post from the Undercroft that for me embodies what the real Church looks like:
MGR RONALD KNOX, somewhere, illustrates a salient difference between Protestantism and Catholicism by means of an “umbrella test”: if a man leaves an umbrella behind in a Catholic or a Methodist chapel, in which of these can he be confident of finding it, just where he left it, on the following week? We know the answer – or at least we used to: if you leave an item of property behind in a Methodist chapel, it will remain untouched until you retrieve it, except insofar as some kind soul may have set it aside for safekeeping until your return. Anything left in a Catholic Church will be nicked - full stop...
Puritanism is not Catholic. It is not even human. Prudery is not purity. Respectability is not holiness, but if anything, an actual impediment to holiness. The Church of Christ is home to saints and sinners; the merely respectable are quite welcome to shift for themselves.
posted by Arturo Vasquez @ 6:58 PM
24 Comments:
How many hundreds of times have I driven by that Temple? Thanks for the peek inside. The section of Harold Bloom's The American Religion in which he discusses Mormonism is utterly fascinating. He comes to some of the same conclusions as yourself, though Bloom considers Joseph Smith a true hero - a creative American genius of the first order.
Just a bit more elaboration on parts that stood out for me:
The exhibits were EXACTLY like the scenes we were seeing on the video. And these were not ordinary household scenes even by average American middle-class standards: a perfect pastel nursery, complete with toys and a white rocker with a seat cushion, color-coordinated window seat, a plush toy mobile above the crib, lacy curtains with a ribbon with a design that was the same as the design on the seat cushion….This was the Cadillac of middle-class baby nurseries, designed by someone who had bought every single item in Target’s baby department. It was at this point that I thought, “They aren’t selling us on Christ, they are selling us ‘modest’ affluence.” The next exhibit was just as good (as images of American ‘modest’ affluence go) – the façade of the front of a red brick house with white columned portico, two wrought-iron lanterns on each side of the front door, and an old-fashioned brass knocker on the door. And a white picket fence went around the side. My materialistic, raised-mostly-in-the-suburbs heart squealed with delight. According to the video, the father had been painting the portico, (as evidenced also by the ladder and white paint can on the doorstep), but had stopped to teach his son how to swing a baseball bat.
The next scene, as I recall, was one of the grandmother and granddaughter talking about how much grandpa loves them, while sitting next to a window in the living room – I can’t remember the homescape for this exhibit.
The final scene was of the living room of the house of an elderly couple (clued in by the use of rust and federal blue – typical “country” colors according to all the magazines) with a comfy old chair, knitting needles sitting in a basket, and an open photo album. Grandpa had died, but the daughter was reminding her mother that they would all be with grandpa again, and for all eternity be a family. The scenes were exactly out of a typical “Country Living” or “Good Housekeeping” photo spread.
These exhibits also had special lighting effects – night-time, day-time. I don’t think it was like “It’s a Small World.” It was more like Epcot’s Spaceship Earth minus the time periods and human models. At times, my eyes got as big as saucers and I think I started salivating a bit over that fine dark stained wood table in one of the scenes, because what person who has been bombarded with images of American success - on the homefront - wouldn’t get excited over furniture from Ethan Allen’s American Classics and New Country collections!
I didn’t add those details to mock the scenes, but to hopefully indicate how much they screamed “American affluence, suburbia!” I’m cynical enough to wonder why people are displaying material images that are easily identifiable as suburban American as part of a proselytization tool in the visitors’ center of a church. But the sentiments in the videos were heart-warming enough (as long as one could ignore the pre-mortal existence and eternal family heresies) – it’s wonderful for a young married couple to talk about their dreams for their daughter’s future (whose soul was in heaven prior to her birth), and for a father to teach his son baseball, and for three generations to gather and spend time together, and for a widow to reminisce about her husband, with reassuring words about how much time he must be spending telling everyone in heaven all about them.
Of course, it was probably cleverly designed to set you up for the real kicker – buying into The Gospel of Joseph Smith, as Arturo described. And though Arturo left out a few parts, my favorite being the appearance of the resurrected John the Baptist, along with other resurrected New and Old Testament figures to confer on the handsome, rugged, blond-haired, blue-eyed Joseph Smith (I mention this because I was once involved in a ridiculous argument with a Mormon about how good-looking Mr. Smith HAD to have been – no average looking man was he!) the various lost priesthoods, the overall tone was indeed, Joseph Smith had accomplished something Christ Himself could not do – He had restored the Gospel to the world. Because, as the video said, Christ Himself could not even keep the light of the gospel in the world. We had to wait until Joseph Smith came along. I had read these lines attributed to Smith before: “I have more to boast of than any man had. I am the only man that has ever been able to keep a whole church together since the days of Adam. A large majority of the whole have stood by me. Neither Paul, John, Peter, nor Jesus ever did it. I boast that no man ever did such work as I,” but I didn’t really think the Mormons would include that as a selling point, and state that Joseph Smith could keep together a Church in a way that was beyond Christ Himself.
It was heartbreakingly easy to understand why people would find much of what the Mormons showed in their visitors’ center attractive – if they could buy into this (including the smiley faces and eternal family values), they could have all that, or at least be associated with people who had all that stuff.
P.S. The visitors’ center also used Hoffman’s portrait “Christ at 33” a lot including in their videos, along with some Carl Bloch paintings.
To clarify: I didn't mean to suggest that all Mormon converts are materialistic and eager for suburbia, and that's why they join (even if that is how the Mormon Temple in Oakland markets itself). It's a grave failure of Christians that the first time some hear the name Christ from a smiling, friendly face, the face doesn't belong to that of a Christian. But it doesn't change my disgust for the tactics on display at their Temple or their theology, or for their emphasis - repeated at least 5 times at the center - on some subjective experience of God as confirming one in "the truth," especially considering their use of the latest technologies to get you there.
We went to tour a Mormon temple before it was sealed once. My wife was fantastically curious to check it out, because you can't get in anymore once it's sealed. So we finally reach the pinnacle of the tour, the center of Mormon meditation and what is supposed to reproduce Heaven on Earth: the Celestial Room (my wife remarked afterward that it looked like a sitting room in a sorority house, which totally fits with the picture of Heaven as suburbia). By this time, my daughter is restless from having been held the whole time, although she did have some great comments on the way (e.g., upon seeing the statues of oxen, she said "wow, those are really big pigs! Look at those GIANT pigs! OINK! OINK!"). Anyway, she is wriggling enough that I set her down while our tour guide is exhorting the sacredness of the surroundings and encouraging everyone to take a moment of silence to appreciate the beauty and to turn our thoughts Heavenward. My daughter starts hopping around and (and you just knew it was going to happen) trips. Ordinarily, the fact that the room was well-carpeted would have prevented this from being too much of an incident, requiring a bit of soothing. But that omits the fact that the molding along the baseboards protrudes a couple of inches from the wall, which, being recently built, have corners that are quite sharp. Naturally, my daughter collides with said corner, producing a nice little nick in her forehead and a rather audible BOOM! throughout the room.
Keep in mind at this point that the Mormons are sufficiently protective of their temple that we had to wear booties over our shoes to avoid soiling the floors, so I can't imagine what they think of shedding blood on the baseboards of their holiest room. But my more immediate horror was over the fact that my daughter did not cry immediately upon impact. Instead, she proceeded to inhale a tremendous amount of air. Those familiar with children will be aware what this means. When someone under the age of three inhales that much oxygen, it is for the purpose of producing enough sound to shatter windows and pierce eardrums. Recalling the previous injunction for silence, I had a split-second to think to myself "oh, crap!" before snatching up my daughter and sprinting full speed toward the exit where I had seen a restroom sign.
My escape was to little avail. Before I even cleared the door, the shriek had cleared my daughter's lungs, and by the time I was made it a bit of the way down the hall, said cries appeared to have summoned every single Latter Day Saint in the entire building, all of whom were quite judicious in drawing me to the kitchen as quickly as possible in advance of checking to see whether my daughter was all right. After my wife tracked us down, I got the distinct impression that they were happy to have me and my little monster leave, although they were civil enough not to come out and say it. We snatched a cookie to placate my daughter in the room where they were asking about people's genealogies and beat a hasty retreat to the parking lot shuttle.
I'm fairly certain that my family will never be allowed in a Mormon temple again.
We have formed a relgion after our leader Arturo Vazquez. He is the reincarnated avatar of Lord Shiva of previous incarnations.
His writings ex Sarabite as pseudo Iamblichus are infallible.
The writings of Ficino are Holy Writ.
His views of music and Phillip Glass v hip hop are prudential and non binding.
Latin is our governing and liturgical language.
although Spanglash can also be used
We also hold AG in high esteem but do not worship her (the dulia thing, worship v veneration)
We debate and interpret the words of our founder Arturo Vazquez.
The only drawback is that there is no social mobility or even stability like in Mormonism.
But the food and conversation are good.
But the food and conversation are good.
Amen.
AG,
the Christ at 33 and Carl Bloch paintings are not bad
What a bizarre world! Thank you for putting yourself to the trouble of invading it for us.
Gordon Hinckley is dead at 97.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/01/27/obit.hinckley/index.html
That photo really reminds me of scenes from the Klingon homeworld in episodes of 'Star Trek: The Next Generation'.
BTW, remind me to e-mail you my Mormon testimonial story.
Arturo,
Do you know where I may find the primary source for "Umbrella test" from Monsignor Knox?
Re. the umbrella test, I've never read such crap in all my life. Petty pilfering of accessories does not turn you into Zorba the Greek! Conversely, obeying the 10 commandments does not turn you into some kind of hollow-cheeked misery guts.
How much pilfering do you think went on in the catacombs or during Apostolic times? Do you remember the story of Ananias and Sapphira?
Please ditch your tiresome brand of romantic sociophyletic catholicism asap.
Who the hell wants a bloody umbrella anyway?
First of all, if Monsignor Ronald Knox thinks that this is a relavent anecdote, I will take his word for it above an anonymous Internet commenter.
Secondly, I think you miss the point of the anecdote. The point is not to say that sin is good, the point is to say that SIN HAPPENS, and that the Catholic Church is big enough to include even sinners. (Or rather, especially sinners.)
Thirdly, the point is to say that sin happens EVERYWHERE and at all times, and trying to veil it with bourgeois niceties is torturous to the human psyche. Anyone who has read Karl Marx or Max Weber knows that Protestant societies, in spite of their pretensions to civility and politeness, have been the some of the most brutal places in recorded history (like Britain during the Industrial Revolution).
Just because the middle class could keep the rabble out of their churches and make them a "haven of niceness" doesn't mean that they are more Christian than anyone else. One could argue, as the Undercroft post does, that such institutions are all the more necessary in the process of industrialization and modern alienation. To say that the Catholics violate all the commandments and these meek middle class Methodists follow them can just be an illustration of what our Lord said about whited sepulchers. What's the point of "being nice" if the whole society is based on technocratic brutality? It may be sanitary, but it isn't holy.
(By the way, Ananias and Sapphira were killed because they kept a large part of their fortune from the Church and the Church's well-being was at stake. Comparing it to petty theft is an exaggeration.)
It seems from some of the anecdotes of this comment box and some ancedotes that I have heard elswhere, the same attitude might plague the Mormons. Especially thinking about their churches in Argentina, they were so radically different from their surroundings sometimes that they seemed to be saying to all who passed them: "All this you could have, if you fall down and worship..." Granted, such accusations in Argentina are leveled against the Opus Dei as well, (Peron called the Opus the "dollarization of Catholicism"), but this is a religion entirely founded on the dream of middle class American prosperity. Oftentimes, then, there might be a lot of exterior "holiness", but there may not be a whole lot of mercy. "Mercy I want, and not sacrifice..."
And if your umbrella ever went out during a rain storm, you certainly would want a new one. I left my Little Office of the Blessed Virgin Mary in a pew at a church in Oakland. I am wondering if they laid it aside for me. If not, I figure that whoever took it needs it more than I do. It's my fault for leaving things around in a Catholic Church.
This umbrella test reminds me of a sign I used to read in church: 'Be careful with your belongings-- they may be the answer to someone else's prayer!'
The point is not to say that sin is good, the point is to say that SIN HAPPENS, and that the Catholic Church is big enough to include even sinners. (Or rather, especially sinners.)
Well, duh! That's kind of obvious. It's big enough to contain heretics too, I guess.
Completely off-topic: For 5 years, I had a $55 black umbrella that was the greatest umbrella I've ever owned, surpassing even my wooden duck bill umbrella. It had wind vents (extra fabric) that allowed it to maintain its shape even in the worst Chicago weather. Then a friend borrowed it one night in Atlanta and lost it at a bar. I now have a dark navy umbrella by the same manufacturer, but it’s just not the same.
On-topic: It was brought to my attention today that Mormonism is non-creedal. One must be baptized, but what baptism means (if anything other than a command from God) can vary greatly. Likewise, while one should affirm scripture – the Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, the Pearl of Great Price, varied interpretations of scripture are permissible. They have doctrines, but doctrines can be interpreted in many different ways, by everyone, and as approximations of the truth, can be changed. See here for the first part in a three-part Mormon discussion.
How this makes the religion less or more American is, I’m sure, a fun thought experiment.
I had an experience some years ago with Mormonism when I accidentally (on a bookbuying trip in upstate NY) came upon the place where Macaroni gave JS the book of Mormon, etc. I took the brief tour and the cute Mormon girls flirted with me. I concur with the thoughts about Mormonism presented here. One might also add that there could be some cause for sympathy, but even there along the lines of religious consumerism. When JS went up to the top of the hill, he was under a great religious crisis. His many siblings were in various Protestant sects and he went up on the hill, having fasted for some time, to pray that God show him the true expression of faith. It sounds to me that he had a nervous breakdown and psychotic experience which resulted in his visions. But the whole thing is very much American bourgeious - when in doubt, become an Entrepreneur.
Another thought on SIN HAPPENS and class. The methodists, of course, started out as primarily a lower class form of Christianity. The Wesleys, Whitefield and other elites preached, primarily, to miners and non-land owning farmers and common workers. Though the leadership in most places was lower middle class the bulk of the members, when methodism first became its own religious sect, were of the working classes. This is especially true among the Welsh. The Welsh embodied non-comformity as contraryness is a Welsh attribute. In wales the Baptist tended to be "free-will" though most English Baptists were Calvinists, and the Welsh Methodists were Calvinist though virtually all English Methodists were free-will. In many respects, non-conformist Welsh Christianity was seen as an authentic religious expression contrary to the "fake" upper class religion. In 19th Century Wales, Welsh Catholics were rich, the only poor Catholics were immigrants from Ireland. The poor Welsh were nonconformist Prots.
One sees something of this same tendency today in Asia, Africa, and Latin America. In many locals in these regions, it is Pentecostalism which might be seen as a contemporary social equivalent to 18th and 19th century methodism, and which has become the church of the poor. We have all heard the story of the theology grad student who goes to Latin America to learn about liberation theology, has a great talk with the liberationist priest in the village, but finds out that most of the village goes to the Pentecostal church. Something to that effect is certainly the case here in Memphis. The Catholic Church here has reached out to the growing Latino population, but for every church that offers a 2:00pm Sunday Spanish Mass there seem to be 15 Spanish language Pentecostal churches opening. I am told that many Latinos get their kids Baptized in the RCC and go there for important things a few times a year, but then attend the Pentecostal church on the side. Among Protestant whites and blacks in Memphis the poorer classes who attend church, almost to a man, are Pentecostal. The Pentecostal churches here (ironically health and wealth in theology) thrive off of their lower class ethos and provide power and social mobility structures for the poor and working classes. The RCC in Memphis does great work in poor communities, but it is the condescending, programmatic work of the bourgeiousie, not a real community of solidarity among the poor and working classes - all helping one another. My wife's boss' husband is on the parish council of the RC parish in Memphis that has the second highest number of Latinos. Even though the parish is in a working class neighborhood, every member of the parish council is a wealthy white person. They have a few areas in the church with a latino flavor, a beautiful large Our Lady of Guadelupe in a side chapel, but the church itself, and on the whole, feels saccharine white middle class. The whites feel really good about having the latinos there, but one gets the sense that it is another white project. So yeah, the 19th Century Anglican church did not want sinners in the pews. The methodists wanted poor people who had quit sinning, the RC church down the road from me wants sinners and doesn't care if they sin or not so long as they allow the whites in power to feel like good liberals. I am not sure which of these models is authentic Christianity. But what do I know, I am a convert American Orthodox in the South, which seems some days, and I say this without facetiousness, about as bourgeious as one can get.
Sorry that you don't really understand the Mormon Church and there were many error in your depiction. Maybe this might help you on your journey of understanding the Mormon Temples:
Catholic Liturgy and the Mormon Temple
http://byustudies.byu.edu/PDFLibrary/21.1Wellnitz.pdf
See here for other links on the link of Christian liturgy.
http://ancient-wisdom-lds-temple.blogspot.com/
Hopefully, you will learn something from them about your own religious tradition. I know that I gain more understanding of my own beliefs when I study other Christian traditions.
Blessings,
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