I have been thinking recently on how love is an act of the will and not of the intellect. That is, love is not something that turns your mind on and off. True, love can seem that way sometimes, but ultimately, in this frail human condition, we chose to love.
When we look at anything beautiful, we can still look away. When we smell something appealing to our appetite, we can still refuse to eat. And when someone offers us his or her love, we can still reject it. We must chose to love, and to love all the way. Not in half measures, not with reservations. Love is not "turned on", it is worked at, cultivated, and built. That is why arranged marriages in the past were probably more successful than relationships in our present time. We can either chose to look at the Beloved in front of us as someone we must compete with or, on the other hand, as someone to whom we must give our whole being.
Thus, it appears a bit odd to discern "if so-and-so is compatible with me". I chose her because I see all that is loveable about her and I draw her to myself. In this, there is trust, there is life, there is excitement, and, yes, there is love.